Working

Well I have many things on my mind these days. But the whole idea of being a highly effective working mom is top on the list. I have a high responsibility job and am expected to be performing at the high level I used to before being pregnant and a Mom. But I am failing. I am not as I used to be. I need to figure out the best balance of my life. But being a stay at home Mom is not an option for many reasons. I hate that I know what I am doing wrong but just don't know how to address it in the moment. I hope to get back on track soon. But am fearing that big changes may be a necessity. I wish being a working Mom were an easier task. I know many woman struggle with this too. I guess with the econmony and those struggling to be parents...my problem here is a great one to have. It just sucks some days.
Well let's add an edit to this.
I had a meeting with my boss just before lunch. I need to figure this all out. Can I really do the job I used to do? I got a promotion right after getting back from maternity leave. It was just the timing that was because of retirement. But I don't deserve the position I have any more. My mind just isn't functioning the way it did when I did earn and deserve the position. I was a big picture person, things got done, I made things happen. I earned the job. But now, not so much. I can't do the job the way I used to do. I am not living up to my potential. Can I? I don't know. I still have the opportunity to make my job what I want it to be. Do I consider getting de-moted and going part time, or "less" time in responsibility. I am so in a daze right now. I just don't know what the answer is. Oh and did I mention my ER is tomorrow?