Well it is no secret to the world that I have a weight problem. I always have. I am not sure when it started, but it was well before Junior High. I have vivid memories of every summer planning to lose weight and then buying all the "cool clothes" the skinny girls were wearing. But I never did lose the weight, just kept gaining it.
It took until college to really find motivation and knowledge of how to be healthy. College surely didn't cure me, but it did help me understand that it was something I could control. So I have been on an up and down cycle for the last 10+ years. I know what is healthy to eat and that exercise is essential to staying healthy.
My recent "excuse" is infertility treatments, TTC and being pregnant. My focus has shifted away from ME. So I am a big fat BLOB. I hate being this way. I started this pregnancy about 5lbs more than I did with Lilah. I was hoping to avoid gaining as much weight as I did with her (probably about 38lbs). But the scale is not my friend right now.
I am still in the same old mindset.. "when this baby comes and I can exercise again....". I want to run again, running is something that works for me, mentally and physically. I keep talking about doing it. I just need to do it when the time comes.
For now I need to "get over it" and realize that this is who I am now and I can't change it "yet". So if I can avoid mirrors and scales until this baby is born, maybe I will be ok.
FAT CHANCE!
wahhh wahhh wahhh Woe is ME! :)
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